The First Work..Jacob's

The last week of saturday and sunday..
I had a job at sungai bertih Econmart..work as jacob's brand..
is quite easy cause it is just pass the biscuit to people to eat..
but what i feel weird is..malay doesn't like to eat biscuit..
when i serve them..they don't really want..so i used to serve chinese or indian people..
i don't really have mood cause i just have a crush..
trying to force myself to smile to people..is hard..
on the saturday night..i do have a party at my cousin house who is going to married..
i had told some of my cousin that i just have a crush..
and they used the experience they have..cause they had married..
and my cousin's husband really tell me lots..
and on that day i'm understand..really fully understand..
but..too bad..they understanding only stays for 24 hours..
after that day..i'm so sad on every single thing..
and when is nights..thats my scary time..
the scary time than my brain keep thinks about the past..
that cause me drop tears..it had continuously now..
when it will stop..gods will know..
think back really we had pass lots..
i felt so sorry to him that i'm a useless girlfriend that no freedom..
less outings with him and didn;t fully accompany him..
and also can't accompany him when he needs me and stays beside him..
maybe i'm annoyed for him??